Chili Bowl

Ingredients

3 dried Ancho chilis, stemmed, seeded and torn into pieces
3 dried California chilis, stemmed, seeded and torn into pieces
2 dried Arbol chilis, stemmed, seeded and torn into pieces
2 dried Chipotle chilis, stemmed, seeded and torn into pieces
1 Habanero chili, stemmed and seeded
2 quarts chicken stock
4 pounds beef chuck, trimmed of gristle and fat, cut into 1-1½” cubes
Baking soda and water
Kosher salt and black pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 large onion, finely diced
4 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
1 tbsp freshly ground cumin (It’s worth the trouble to bloom and grind fresh cumin seeds).
2 tsp dried oregano (It’s not worth the trouble to use fresh in this case)
1 tbsp Asian fish sauce
2-3 tbsp masa
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp agave syrup

Instructions

1. Go to the store to purchase a 4 pound chuck roast per the ingredients list.
2. 1. Be disappointed that you can only buy a 3.2 pound chuck roast.
   2. Be shocked when you see the price is $32. What the hell? Chuck roast is hamburger that hasn’t been trimmed and ground. I’m paying $32 for them to not grind my hamburger?
   3. Be dismayed when you realize that a lot of that chuck roast is fat that you’re going to have to throw away, unless you want greasy chili.
   4. Be devastated when you find that the remaining chuck roast meat only weighs 2.5 pounds and that you aren’t going to have enough chili to feed all the chili bowl judges.
3. Soak the chuck roast cubes in baking soda and water for 15-20 mins: 1 tsp of baking soda + ½ cup of water for every 12 oz of meat (you’re going to have to do some math). Don’t skip this step. It ensures that your meat will be melt in your mouth tender. After the time is up, drain the meat, pat dry and set aside in the refrigerator to dry off completely. Once dry, liberally salt and pepper the meat and let sit for another 15-20 mins.
4. Meanwhile (always look for “meanwhiles” in recipes), add the dried chilis to a sauce pan and bloom until aromatic and pliable. Add half of the chicken broth and the Habanero pepper and bring to a boil. Simmer for 5 minutes until the chilis are soft. Purée the chili stock mixture until smooth and set aside.
5. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over high heat until shimmering. Add the beef in small batches and cook until browned 5-10 mins per batch. The baking soda bath will help the beef brown and not just turn grey. By the time all the beef has been browned there should be a good fond on the pot.
6. Lower the heat to medium. Add the onion and cook until tender.
7. Add the garlic, cumin and oregano and cook for another minute until fragrant.
8. Add the meat back to the pot along with, in this order: the remaining chicken broth and then the chili purée.
9. 1. Why does the order matter? As far as the taste goes, it doesn’t. I’m just trying to save you from having to clean your kitchen. The chili purée will be thick like pudding, and if you add it to the hot oil, the water in the purée will quickly boil, and the purée will explosively sputter all over your nice white kitchen cupboards, backsplash, cooktop, clothes and skin (ouch!). Save yourself some grief, add the purée last, after the pot has cooled down from adding the stock.
10. Add no tomatoes or beans – this is Texas chili!
11. Bring to a boil. Lower heat to a simmer and cook covered with the lid open just a crack for 3 hours. Tell your wife, after she shuts the lid completely, that you meant to leave it open a crack.
12. Stir in fish sauce, agave syrup, and vinegar.
13. Add Masa, which will thicken the chili. Do it a little at a time. If you are short on meat, and felt that you had to cut back on the stock accordingly, then you might need less Masa.
14. Season to taste with salt.
15. Bring to the Chili Bowl and watch in horror as people take large servings, thereby depriving others from having a taste, all because you couldn’t buy a 4 pound chuck roast.